One serious and one not so serious

I really CAN be serious for more than five minutes at a time. I think I have just inherited too much of the "Lloyd Joking Genes" and have watched my older siblings * cough cough Aaron and Seth and Eric * hold court with their jokes.

So, here is one serious Christmas video. And one not so serious.

A Christmas Coat

Silent monks - I watch every year

The Byline

Dad supplied the photos and simply told me "Please provide some commentary." As any dutiful daughter would do, I obeyed.

Happy Birthday Andrew! Enjoy the pictures - and hopefully, the comments as well.

Even high atop Mt. Hood (right? I'm assuming it wasn't Bachelor or Everest), Andrew channeled our dear mother by breaking out the red bandana. His preparation for sudden desert winds or the fear of being recognized was assuaged with that hand scarf, I mean bandana, around his neck. Side note: How come Matthew NEVER wears long sleeves? Side side note: Was this perhaps an entry for the next GQ magazine. The perpetual pout and sideways glare (even through sunglasses) seems appropriate - except from Josh. Good ol' Josh.
 

Ah - the familiar scene of sand and mud and water and overcast skies that bespeak of the Oregon Coast. (Once again - Matthew is preparing his GQ "grin"). The foot stopping motion of Andrew illustrates how he knows how to get things done. "We need a moat, siblings! A moat - not just a little ditch! This is Operation Moat!" And his teeny blue shorts were perhaps prophetic of his detective blues that would come later one. Maybe he still has them....

Andrew still has that same grin! I saw it yesterday, as he sidled down to sit next to Elizabeth and I. (By the way, we sat on the edge of the row, in the back. All three of us agreed: "Randall's - we sit in the back, on the end.") What I love about this picture, especially coming from the "younger half" of the Randall clan, is how excited BOTH Andrew and Seth (who is seriously rocking that striped turtleneck - all in favor of showing this to Christina say "aye"!) Back to the grin - I see this every time Ellison talks about animals or books or when Kellan knows he is about to get some candy. It looks like some of the "weak" Randall genes have come through.

First - question. WHY ARE ALL THE SHORTS SO SHORT!? Mom didn't even let me wear shorts that short. I guess the 80's really were different. One thing that hasn't changed - the excitement of stumbling upon that stringy, slimy, seaweed rope. I'm sure Andrew used it to whip the troops into shape. I mean, that moat was really important. And to stress the importance, Andrew felt the need to do a Rolling Stones type tongue move. P.S. Who else looks back on all these trips we made to the beach in usually inclement weather and wonder for the millionth time "HOW DID MOM AND DAD DO IT?!"

I love you Andrew! From when you and Jolene took Rachel and I to Enchanted Forest for our birthday to when we helped babysit all of your kids to the marathons and movie quotes and our mutual love for Elder Holland (isn't he really really the best!?).

Adventures in Babysitting - Part 2

The week after I tended to the Newbletts, I found myself watching three very EXCITED and very ANXIOUS and very ISTHEBABYHEREYETANDWHENWILLMOMBEHOMETODAYTODAY!? Randall children.

After sending Aaron and Jenn off to the hospital, I settled in on the couch to sleep for another hour (to at least 7 a.m.) before the kids woke up.

"Psst."

*pause* I laid very, very still.

"Psst. Aunt Joanna?"

I cracked an eye open and saw little Griffin standing hopefully by the couch.

"Hey buddy." I croaked and wondered why little kids are wired to wake up so early.

"I can't sleep and sometimes when that happens I can watch TV or play games or *long pause as he tested the waters* the Wii." His voice went up at the end, tinged with the hope that on this special day, Aunt Joanna would be so nice (and worn out) that the Wii could be played unrestricted.

"How about some cartoons?" I stuck to my guns - sort of. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, eventually Maddox and Reese emerged with their eyes at half mast and their hair at odd angles.

I began reassuring Reese as to why I was there and not her mother, to which she shyly smiled and said "Baby too big *at this point, she motioned with her hand over her tummy* and it has to come out."

It. Was. Adorable.

Around lunchtime, I prepared a fancy feast (complete with crystal glasses) and asked of the children: "Do you guys know why we're celebrating!?"

Maddox (yelling from his perch on the computer): "Because it's a parents free day and Aunt Joanna is here ALL DAY to help us watch TV and the Wii!"

After I stopped laughing and regained some composure, I agreed and said "But also because baby Harrison is on his way!"

Maddox: "Oh. Yeah - that too."

The celebratory feast.

After the feast of gold fish, peanut butter and jelly and honey sandwiches, leftover Halloween candy was had by all.

"There is no peanut!" Griffin was stunned.

Reese's reaction after being informed of baby Harrison's arrival. And after quite a few handfuls of chocolate.

The only person NOT happy that day was this big guy. Oh sure, I gave him his food (twice, accidentally) and plenty of treats. I pointed out the squirrels in the backyard and the threatening pedestrians in the front. Nothing - and I mean NOTHING - could sway him from his Aaron-deprived depression. 

                                        

He couldn't even look at the camera - his pain was took great.

All in all, the thirteen hour day probably went faster for me then it did for Jenn. The kids were well-behaved and very excited for their new brother. We did end up going to the hospital the next morning, where the following things happened:

1) Maddox snuck out into the hall and started chatting it up with nurses. "What does this do? My name is Maddox! What's yours?"
2) Reese was fascinated by the tiny head of hair on Harrison and kept kissing it.
3) The doctor, for one brief second, thought that I had just delivered a baby. I wasn't quite sure how to take that.
4) The highlight of the drive there was the fact that Aaron parked on the very top of the parking garage. You should have heard the cheers from the backseat as the SUV cleared the fifth level and sunlight broke through the windows. It was almost as good as Disneyland.

Adventures in Babysitting - Part 1

A few weeks ago, I headed over to the Newby household to allow the parents to escape to a nearby movie theatre. Unfortunately, a migraine worthy of Mom had hit that morning - but, like Mom, I soldiered on - with my Diet Mt. Dew and Excedrin.

Elizabeth warned the children about my headache and instructed them to be nice and quiet. Natalie quickly took charge: "Joanna, go lay on my bed and I'm sorry there are no sheets but it's the best bed in the house and I'll make sure EllaandCameron are quiet and we'll just watch the movie until Mom and Dad get home" *pause for breath* "so go on upstairs I have it handled." 

Avery and I dutifully went upstairs for our naps. Natalie fulfilled her promise and they were quiet until the parents got home. And they DID watch the movie (twice all the way through) until their parents got home.

Avery and I decided to spend some quality time together in the playroom. She seemed particularly fascinated with the winter hat I was wearing to cover my unwashed and unbrushed hair (I know Mom! How will I ever meet someone?! I'll just put on some nice blush and mascara ... heh heh). I let her try the hat on for size:

I also may or may not have carried Avery downstairs after her nap - while she carried my drink. She became very possessive of the bottle - looks like she is a true Randall and knows the value of a good soda.

Finally, this tidy summation of babysitting the Newbletts would not be complete without a shot of Cameron's artistic adaptation of an ordinary russett potato. I feel like the feather really brings out the rustic nature of the subject.

I also could not stop laughing.

Advice

As I pour Ranch dressing on my salad, Cameron helpfully chimes in with:

"Joanna, don't put too much on your salad. There needs to be enough for everyone."

Suppressed laughter and a serious nod. His parents look mortified but I point out that his advice is simply an echo of what they say to their kids. At least this shows he is listening.

Later that week...

As I take off my sweater, Cameron asks sincerely:

"Joanna, why are you taking off your sweater?"
"Because I got hot."
"Joanna, that's why sweaters are bad and you shouldn't wear 'em."
"Well, what if I get cold"
* puzzled, scrunched up face and a pause *
"That's why you just shouldn't wear them!"

Perhaps Cameron could start an advice column.

"We Are All Enlisted"

Elder Holland, at the most recent general conference, gave a talk on missionary work. Part of that talk, he dedicated to the senior couples of the church. And he gave this promise:

Those little darlings(grandchildren) will be just fine, and I promise you will do things for them in the service of the Lord that, worlds without end, you could never do if you stayed home to hover over them. What greater gift could grandparents give their posterity than to say by deed as well as word, “In this family we serve missions!”

I don't think I can ever say enough how proud I am of Mom and Dad serving a mission. They are an incredible example to their children and their grandchildren. 

Signs

I stumbled upon a website that posts hilarious signs from around the U.S. The two I've posted below are the ones I laughed the hardest at. And I know Mom and Dad would appreciate them. Especially the latter one - we should have posted something like that at Scandia...

"How's my little girl?"

I believe my parents miss their little four legged children more than they admit. And when Rachel stumbled upon some of these greeting cards, I knew right away that I needed to invest in some for Mom and Dad. If they cannot have their actual dachshunds with them, they can certainly have paraphernalia covered in them.

I am still laughing-so-hard-I'm-crying at the "Wiener Dog Trauma".

The Fair

The Oregon State Fair falls around the last week of August, often coinciding with my parent's anniversary. I recall many Saturdays growing up where we'd all wait until the blue Volvo carrying Mom and Dad disappeared down the street.

We'd eat all the "good" cereal.
We'd find all the treats.
We'd watch TV on the upstairs AND downstairs TV.
We'd wear our shoes IN the house.

And then as evening drew nearer, there would be a mad rush to "Hurry and clean all this up! They'll be home soon!" With no cell phones, we never knew how soon. So, with all the rooms vacuumed, beds made, dishes washed, we'd wait.

And still watch TV - up until the very last minute when we'd see the blue Volvo slowly come into view and chug up our driveway. The TV's would be turned off and wiped down of any tell-tale static and all four to eight (depending on the year) of us would disperse to read/play the piano/sit quietly.

I wonder if Mom and Dad ever knew. Anyway, this year, I headed to the state fair instead of watching other people go. Seth and Christina were nice enough to let me play third wheel and the morning started off great at the "bear" restaurant.

For the life of me, the name of the place escapes me. I do remember there were bears on everything: the walls, the napkins, the plates, and even in the bathroom decor. And EVERY time the word "bear" was brought up, Seth would quip "You have to count them all. It's the game."

Christina and I ate our breakfast. Without counting.

At the fair, we hit up the barns full of animals first - because nothing is funnier than an angry sheep. EXCEPT a bunch of angry sheep and goats who have all just gotten shaved/trimmed/groomed.

I just loved the name.

Keeping each other warm - in the 90 degree, unairconditioned barn. 

The black sheep. All alone. It's in cage. With just his thoughts.

A whole group of newly shorn sheep - and apparently those "second coats" come in a variety of colors, as shown nicely by the model in the middle.

Again, it was really warm in this barn and these poor, hairless animals were clinging to each other like life (or their pride) depended upon it.

"Oh yes" *scratch scratch*

Another brother for Dex and Snoop?

Apparently, as we came in through the gates, someone was heard demanding "Where are the piglets!?" Big crowd around these little guys. They reminded me of Gretchen ... maybe Gretchen needs a little sister. 

Pig pile

The three of us nearly ran to this barn.

They were only a few hundred bucks! I wanted to tuck one in my purse and take it home. Make it carry my lunch to work for me.

Seth kept trying to get a picture of us with the Lego statues but kids were constantly thronging the place. And yes, that is a Diet Coke I am drinking. A $3.50, 16 oz, Diet Coke that lasted about two seconds.

Our feet were really tired.

It looks like Christina is laughing. She was. 

Christina: "You know it hurts, right?"
Me: "WHAT?!"
Christina: "heh heh"

Henna Lady: "Okay, it'll hurt just a bit."
Me: "WHAT!?"
Henna Lady: "Got her again. Heh heh."

My ink. Lasted a week. Co-workers were shocked.

Christina being bold and having it done on her forearm.

Maritime power.

                  

Christina took the shot and then said "Wow. You guys look like you could actually belong to those bodies." Nice.

We've already decided to get one made for Mom and Dad when they come home. 2013!!!

We also saw the following:

1) A man who took "throw a baseball at a milk can and win a small prize" WAY too seriously. We thus spotted him several more times (and with just as much competitive zeal) and other games.
2) Watched a man blow glass into a platter for thirty minutes, while the man sitting next to me said, about every sixty seconds "Okay. There's the platter. Oh, no. Not yet. Okay, here it is. Ah, nope." I almost cheered when the platter was done.
3) Scored delicious free tacos in an obscure cart near the back of the cart.
4) Had to pull Seth and Christina out of the "Made for TV" warehouse before they purchased everything in sight.

Who is up for next year?

Twenty Two

I mentioned to a co-worker the other day that the 22nd nephew/niece of mine is going to be born later on this year.

He thought I was lying. So I showed him the reunion photo I keep at my desk.

He then thought my parents were crazy.

But I thought of all the stories I have of my nieces and nephews - and how I can shamelessly use this blog to illustrate how
incredible
unique
beautiful
handsome
hilarious
sensitive
intelligent
they all are.

Story: Just this morning, I ran with Elizabeth ("Emergency Room" - bwahahahaha) and when we returned, I felt like some entertainment. So I sat on her couch and watched her children.

Cameron ran outside, barefoot, grabbed a stick (how come boys can ALWAYS find sticks?), climbed atop a big pile of dirt, and proceeded to survey his land. Dig, dig, dig. Pause. Survey. Yell, yell, yell. Pause. Dig. Pause. Swing, swing, swing of the stick.

I was mesmerized.


Natalie vacuumed the entire downstairs by herself - in nice, even, straight lines. I love straight vacuum lines. She even managed to pick up the fruit snacks wrapper I threw on the floor in her path.

I want her to come vacuum my apartment.


Ella showed me her new shoes - shiny, silver flats. I told her I have ones just like them. I did forget to tell her that I hung her note she gave me two days earlier at my desk at work:

JUWANA - You are a grat ant. Love - Ella

I want cards from her on a weekly basis.


Avery teetered toward me on her tiny toes. However, at one point, she became so excited with her new skill, she toppled backwards. But she still laughed - with two teeth showing - and got back up.

I want her to take me on a walk someday.


That is four nieces/nephews down.
Eighteen more to go. I love them.
All.

Called to Serve

After weeks of waiting (and conjecture: "Maybe they don't want us to go." "Perhaps the call letter is being delivered by handcart." "Or, maybe the mailman tried to drive BUT THERE WAS NO ENGINE IN THE CAR!"), the large, white manilla envelope came. As one of two witnesses to The Opening (I will address the second witness later), I will recount, to the best of my ability, and for my nine siblings, what what down on T. Lane that afternoon.

Me (upon opening the front door): "Hey! Let's open it!! I got Rachel on the phone."
Mom (gingerly holding the envelope in both hands): "I'm too nervous. I can't open it.
Me: "Oh, we are not doing this. Just like a band-aid - RIGHT OFF!!"
Rachel (in a plaintive whine): "What's going on? Where are they going? I have to go to work in like twenty minutes!"

I finally hustled Dad, Mom, and the other witness into kitchen.

Me (egging Mom on): "Just do it. C'mon...."
Mom (looking in Dad's direction): "Why don't you do it?!"
Dad (putting up his hands in defense): "No, no, no. You do it."

ARGH.

TWO HOURS LATER .... *note - time may have been exaggerated due to the anxious state of those involved*

Mom (gently tearing at the envelope, the way Grandma tore at Christmas wrapping paper: "We can save it for next year."): "Um..... Minnesota! MINNESOTA!!"
Me (yelling into the phone): "Dude, Rachel! Minneapolis!!
Rachel (laughing): "Yay!!" *pause* "Does Mom realize how much snow they get?!"

Sister Randall's copy.

Dad (looking at his copy of the letter): "Hey, mine says a different mission!?"

Steely eyed look from Mom.

Dad (quickly backpedaling): "You doing okay? You like this call?"
Mom (laughing): "Yes! Let's call all of our children. Right now."

I think this should be the photo that goes on their missionary plaque. 

Dad making the calls.

Looking through the packet - especially enjoying the pictures of "appropriate senior missionary attire" and the box of Rice Krispies that was sent along with the call.

And I was left with the one other person in the room who saw the whole thing first hand.

From the kitchen floor.

In her diaper.

And the furrowed brow of concern.

Are you going to pick me up or what?

And this last photo leads me into the second part of this blog post, which I have lovingly entitled "Grandma vs. Avery".

With her parents and older siblings gone galavanting through the highly chlorinated water spray of Great Wolf Lodge, Avery was left in the care of her grandmother. Oh, I helped ... ease the building tension between mother and granddaughter.

Mom (stressed): "She spit up again today. TWICE!"
I glanced at Avery - a sly smile appeared on her lips. Yes, she was thinking. I got to finally put on the outfit I really wanted.

Mom (exhausted after a sleepless night): "She is so talkative - and runs that pacifier up and down her crib like it was an instrument."
I glanced at Avery - again, that secret smile. They'll think twice about leaving me without a pacifier all day, she muses.

Mom (yelling, slightly panicked): "Where is she? Is she crawling toward the stairs?"
I follow the sound of the "swish, swish" of her crawl and see her at the bottom of the stairs, her climb to the top blocked by a baby gate. Disappointment fills her gaze and she silently asks "Don't you trust me?"

Of course, Mom handled the babysitting gig with the upmost aplomb - and for the umpteenth time in my life, I saw how she and Dad could raise ten children.

And now they can take their skills and keep the Minnesota Minneapolis missionaries in line.

Holy May!

Avery/ Aves/ Aves May/ Newblett/ Newbers/ Newbs = One Year Old

Just like the ones Mom used to wear!!!

Cameron/ CamCam/ Buddy/ Little Eric = Four Years Old

This was Cameron's birthday pose. And the longest time he stood in one place.

One eight year old + one seven year old + one six year old + one five year old + one four year old + one (almost) three yard old + one one year old + CUPCAKES & ICE CREAM & THE EXCITEMENT OF BEAUTIFULLY WRAPPED GOODS = fuzzy photos taken by the Professional Aunt No Kids (of her own)

I love Natalie. Just like her mom -hates getting her picture taken.

I asked to take her picture and she stopped what she was doing (which was explaining how ants have thorax's - what!!) and posed.

Love. Her. Smile. And her little leggings.

Subtract: Sleep (from the parents) and peace of mind (from grandparents wondering where in the world is their mission call (not to mention Carmen Sandiego).

Reese, serving her mom and grandparents.

"Someone to waaaatch over me."

"Aunt Joanna, you can't drink juice boxes. You're an adult."

"Anyone care for a little treat?"

"We're making memories, kids! MAKING MEMORIES!"

Elizabeth showing the tough love - complete with battle bruises.

Like moths to a flame. Grandchildren to Grandma.