Tuesday, December 1, 2009

sticks and stones

oh, they may break my bones but words...

...words make me want to stand up and defend myself. i was at work this evening and i heard my name. my ears perked up, as all of ours do when we hear the most magic word - our own name. since i am the only one of my name at my workplace, i popped up out of my cubicle to see who wanted something.

only they did not want anything from me. rather, they wanted feedback/gossip/laughter/an eye roll/ and a sympathetic pat from whomever they were chatting with.

which was not me.

it is funny how many things we do not grow out of when we grow up: missing our parents when we are away, getting excited for christmas as soon as halloween is over (and then feeling guilty for skipping thanksgiving), talking to our pets in special voices, and feeling a twinge of hurt when we find someone talking about us.

behind our backs but accidentally in front of our faces.

i am home from work but still back there in that tiny cube, wondering what warranted the comment. i immediatley resolved to change in order to prevent another comment like that being uttered.

but then stopped. should our desire for self-progress and improvement stem from the snide remarks made from others too small to say them to our faces?

i am still quite bitter, to be sure. and a tiny bit hurt. and still wondering if those sticks and stones can break me.

p.s. to my family who might read this, i really am fine. but still, feel free to barrage me with a slew of sympathetic and pity filled emails.